Dating as a Traveler

I get asked all the time, “OH are you married?” “No? But you must have a boyfriend!” “How are you ever going to meet someone traveling?!?!?”

Well, I am still single. (sorry Mom) But I know that it is possible. I’ve dated while on assignments and my travel bestie, Victoria, has made it work with the guy she met on her first assignment around a year ago. He works from home and comes visit for about 3 weeks every assignment. She told me the key to making it work is facetime and not trying to take it too seriously and just enjoying each other. Dating already sucks and as a traveler you have even more hurdles. I’ll tell yall how I’ve tried to jump over them.

How to Meet Someone

I’m just like every Millennial out there, I’m using apps. Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, those are the main three out there. Which one is the best? Beats me! Most people are on all three anyway (raises hand).  I say just pick your poison. Recently I’ve met guys from Tinder and Bumble. Just know that apps take time. You have to weed through all the weirdos and pervs to find someone that is actually worth the only Friday night you have off.

My main tips for when you decide you want to meet someone are:

1. Be Open That You are a Traveler: It is a great conversation starter, plus it lets them know what they are in for.
2. Date at the Beginning of your Contract: Everyone I have dated while on assignment has been within the first month or so. How would you honestly know if you’d wanna extend or keep something going if you don’t have at least a month or so with this person

Now I’m going to get a bit personal on some of the issues I’ve come across.

Wait… So you don’t live here???

So let’s say you actually met someone worth your time and a second date. Awesome, but now what? I find the biggest problem for me is you continue to date then you bring up looking for a new assignment or where you want to go next, and it hits them. OH SHIT, she’s not going to be here. This feels like a lot of pressure on me if she stays longer, FOR ME?!!?!?!? This situation happened to me in Reno. Meet a guy on Bumble, things were going great. I started to throw around the idea of staying and he freaked out. He ended up breaking up with me because he “didn’t wanna be the reason I stayed.” He also ended up kinda being an ass, but that’s not the point of the story. The point is always be upfront about where you wanna be at the end of 13 weeks. But honestly, fuck that guy.

Timing is Everything

A normal assignment is 13 weeks. 13 weeks may seem like a lot of time, but it’s not. Relationships and feelings take time. The timing was the issue for my Ashland relationship.  I meet this wonderful guy in Ashland. Meet him on Tinder. He actually did a job where he could travel with me, (the travel nurse dream relationship right?). He was sweet, nice, and so handsome. But he was leaving for 2 months during my assignment. It came to the point where I had to decide, do I extend to see where this will go or do I end this and continue traveling. I decided I really didn’t want to stay somewhere just for a guy, especially one I was unsure of.  I couldn’t think of any other reason to stay but him. We ended things on good terms and talk here and there.

The moral of that story is never stay for someone unless you are sure of it. Travel nursing is a gift that not all people get to do. Enjoy it while you can and don’t let anyone or anything stop you from living it up.

What about My Coworker?

I’m not a big fan of this option… UNLESS they aren’t in your department. I dated an EMT in an ER back in Texas and it blew up in my face, to the point I ended up switching hospitals. I’ve heard stories of guys that are weird and target nurses. They like the travelers because they don’t know anything about them or their douche bag ways. A friend on assignment in Hawaii told me about how a group of guys would always try to sleep with the new travelers, to the point an STD was going around in the unit. So buyer beware and play it safe.

Now I don’t want to just give advice to the ladies. I have some advice for the guys out there too. If you are a traveler you’ll realize its a small community. You’d be surprised how many of us know each other. I have a friend that’s a traveler and dating a lot. Well, girls talk and will give yourself a bad name if you don’t play your cards right.

 

 

When it comes to dating, its all up to you. There are no right or wrong answers. I like to date on assignments to learn more about the place and have fun. Do I think I’ll find the love of my life? Who knows, but you’ll never know if you don’t put yourself out there.

I hope my advice helps and you go out and try new things.

 

xoxo

nursewhotravel